We don't give birth to our children and the next morning think, "Wow, I cannot wait until they're in college!". But what we do find ourselves saying, whether out loud or otherwise is, "...it will be really nice when..." and "...just wait until he can 'insert verb of choice'...".
With Avery, Matt and I, had this desperate need for her to reach each milestone as quickly as possible. Partly because it's so exciting as each step is new and uncharted territory and partly because we thought each step would bring us closer to the "easier part" of both childhood and parenthood. I think this goes for a lot of new parents. But eventually what we all learn when looking back, is that we all would slow it down if we could.
Yes, that sounds a bit dramatic and I have been known to have quite a flare for drama from time to time. But I don't think any parent would disagree with me. After I'd call my mom with a "I can't wait until Avery" statement, my mother would simply say "Kerrie, stop wishing their life away". And she was right. I was. Not intentionally of course. My excitement and desire for Avery to hurry up and grow was purely for the joy of watching her reach each new milestone. It was never a competition with other munchkins mind you. I really didn't care when she stopped using her toes to grab my fingers or if she would be able to stack blocks early. More often than not, it was for selfish reasons, like during those wonderfully trying times of sleepless nights, incessant diaper changing and the all-time Dunker favorite -- teething snot. I just wanted certain parts of infanthood and toddlerhood to be over because it would make my life just that-much-easier.
In preparation for number two, Sloane-y balogney, I convinced myself that I was going to take my sweet, old motherly time. I was going to savor every moment and I was never going to whisper "I can't wait until she 'insert verb of choice.' Because this time I was armed with the knowledge of parenting Avery and this time I had the perspective on how quickly it all goes by. What I didn't know with this kid was that I wouldn't have the total capacity to stop and take it all in. I now had two children and therefore it was always "as soon as I can turn the car seat forward it'll be a lot easier". Or "as soon as Avery's in school I'll have more time to spend with Sloane".
Then it turned into "I can't wait 'til they're both in school so I can actually clean this house". Before I knew it, Sloane was in school at 19 months, I had a whole 2 hours alone on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and somehow it still wasn't quite enough. Now they are both off to school all day, everyday and I've learned that I no longer have the only say in their day to day lives. Not to mention that I still can't keep the house clean :)
And then to add insult to injury, Anderson, has turned 1. Already. My blog entry is a tad late as usual, his birthday is the 23rd of August, but this entry simply reinforces my opinion on the impossibility of slowing down time. He ate solids early and very funnily at that, he crawled even funnier, walked early, ran before his birthday and is already saying words. He amazes me every day with something new. And while it is exciting, it does make me a little sad because there isn't anything I can do about him growing up and getting older. He's one, then 2, 5, 10 and then he'll be driving and then off to college and then on to a family of his own. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I suppose, just thinking about his birthday pushed me to ponder the pace at which we all live our lives. How I have no clue where the past two months went and how again, the blog is late. In the blink of an eye, 2 months swooshed past.
So I just have to accept that time carries on no matter what. I may not be the perfect librarian and catalog their every waking second, their every change, but I'm learning to be present (oy, I sound like Oprah!). I'm trying not to wish for the next rung on the ladder of childhood. I'm trying hard not to say "I can't wait until teething is a thing of the past!" because once all those teeth do come in then we'll be at that stage where he begins to lose them. So I'll keep trying to be content with the here and now. And I will cherish the moments throughout the day when all Anders wants to do is sit on my lap and give me wet, sloppy kisses. And let me smell his stinky feet. In my messy house. And maybe one of these days I'll stop apologizing for my blog being late.
And maybe...just maybe...he'll start holding a sippee cup on his own for a change...
Mom and the birthday boy at his crepe dinner party! Yea...we're posh.
Anderson's third word after 'Ta' (thank you) and Daddy was...
SPONGEBOB!
SPONGEBOB!
Yummy smash cake!
"PUHLEEESE give me a piece of cake!!" And yes, Bones is sitting down.
I"M ONE!!!!
Posts
